"Behavior in love shines through everything"

I am not that well of a writer and I do not know the english language as well as some. I know some of my strengths and weaknesses. I know there are some things I have not even found inside me yet.
I am just trying to find answers like anyone else. When I find something I know is true and than I feel it, I want to hold on to it.
I am finding that the things I am starting to hold to are things that go against what has been passed down from generation to generation. The things I learned from my parents and elders are not making any sense when I start to think about them. Defensiveness is one I have been thinking about lately.
 I tend to get defensive when I know I have to stand up. I feel has if I am backing down if I get defensive. I am defending myself without anyone questioning me. I find many reasons why I get defensive.
 I start to defend my point without a clear understanding of my point. It was not thought through on my end and for the lack of understand in myself it causes my defensiveness.
Now I am starting to see everyone doing it, so is everyone else doing because of the same reason?
Could we all be acting? Could we all be walking in a fantasy world trying to bluff each other in to thinking we know more than we do?
I have stopped myself in commenting on things I am not sure about but I still do it at times but have not been able to stop myself from getting defensive.
I know part of the defensiveness is defending the lie I just stated. With my work, I am like many others. I put things off and when I have to face them I feel I have to defend myself to others on why I was not responsible for what I did.
I have noticed these things and are slowly working on correcting them. As I correct myself I started to see others as I was which has me wondering how many are playing fantasy in their own life.
Do we really know what we are doing? And do we REALLY know what we are doing? And do we really know what WE are doing?