"Behavior in love shines through everything"

I feel numb today. I don't know what it is but I feel nothing is getting done. I need to get everything done. I have no idea about anything but I do. I try not to think about things but I think about things I don't like. I am trying to understand but can I never understand.

I just have been thinking to much again. What I need to do is focus my thinking. It is tough when so much is unanswered. I don't have any answer because I know that there really is no right or wrong. I should not judge. Who am I to judge. I am just here and here is where I will be for a while until the next time I cause drama.

I need to stop making things a soap opera and stop assuming. Start living and asking. And start to listen, observe and be patient.

Many of those things I have in myself but all in the wrong places.
It is just me all over the place. I just need to put the pieces in the right spot now. How long will that be who the hell knows if I will ever be able to do it. But I will try.

I try because I do not want to hurt the ones I do and will love.

I need to change the things inside
I don't see my emotions collide
The feeling get the better of me
It's like being cage and not free

Free to think, the mind needs to be
So I can do and better me
I see the fault, and than I don't
I look so hard to find I won't

I need to relax, life to enjoy
The answers come, I need not toy
For to worry is not alright
Those things will keep bringing the fight

I struggle today throughout the night
Life around us is such a sight
So when I learn hurt does the fix
It will become in me, intermix

It is my life, I feel the pain
It's part of me should I complain
Better or worse, I am still here
To see myself I should not fear

Future is hard, we can not see
But the lesson is in my memory
So here I am and should be wise
So do I give in or compromise

When should I stand or not change things
To grow and live and be something
I can't understand the road ahead
For now I must except this bed